"I have honestly never felt so good and been so genuinely happy ever before"
May 17, 2009 at 17:00 I do not think I realized fully what a journey that actually waited for me when I left my home Stockholm on 17 April. How two weeks alone on Koh Lanta and receiving instruction from you would affect me... Not just the trip there and then, in April / May 2009, that I had probably pretty clear, but the fact that the trip goes on and on, in me and with me and that now pervades all my life.
I have since I came home May 5 practiced yoga and meditated at home. It's been a lot of kids, a lot of work, much of everything and I have obviously been worried about losing my practice. So to maintain my practice in everyday life and my reality here in the West, I sat to meditate now and then. Not every day but definitely every time with a quiet wonder of how it all could work (doubt)? And what a surprise! For how messy life is, I can sit down and "hey presto" I am there. It is there for me all the time, just waiting for my attention. I've got the tools and they work. It is quite magical and it's you who guided me there.
I have now embarked on a crash course in yoga at home. A basic course this week, the next level the week after and a further level the following week. After each yoga class, I am filled with both joy and sadness at the same time (two sides of same coin), in a way that can hardly be described, an emotion that comes straight from the breast, heart. I get the feeling that everything is the same in some way. I need nothing else in life and would rather be there, in that, all the time! Exactly the same as I felt towards the end of my stay on Koh Lanta. I know you know what I mean.
It's nice to know that there is a person who has been involved in an important part of my journey and who understands what I go through, what I feel, what I think about and talk about. The greatest thing of all is that my journey continues and I feel like I'm just at the very beginning of it. There is so much exciting happening this fall and I will attend studies in Buddhism and also yoga classes as well. I have honestly never felt so good and been so genuinely happy ever before. Redemption took place in me, in the heat, on Koh Lanta sometime in late April 2009. I've found home. Thanks Annelie for helping me here!
With metta!
/ / Madeleine